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Archive for July, 2011

Meet my heatwave beverage of choice. It is, in my opinion, highly underrated, and deserving of much more praise than it currently receives:

Basic Info:
Name:
water
Origin: nature
Style: n/a
ABV: n/a
IBU: n/a
I drank this: from a bottle, in my car, while driving*

See, the thing is, the high today was something like 102, with a heat index so absurdly high it makes me sweaty just thinking about it. The other thing is that, being a sales rep, I spend the majority of my day in my (tiny, black, possessed of very slanted windshields) car.

As a result, I’ve been, well, hot.

As a result of the result, I’ve been drinking a lot of water.**

Water is AWESOME. It is, however, unappreciated in the blogosphere.*** I think I know why. It’s subtle, water is. See, unlike the hop bombs I usually consume (which generally suck if they possess any subtlety at all), water has no scent. It also no color. The flavor is nonexistent. In fact, if there is a scent, a flavor or a color, there’s probably something wrong.

On the other hand, water is wet, it’s chemical free,+ and it helps prevent or cure dehydration, heat stroke, hangovers, illness, etc. So, you know, drink some, especially if it’s as stupidhot near you as it is in the sweltering midsection of the country where my butt is currently sitting.

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*Being that open containers are illegal in my state, this is the only time you’ll ever see a reference on this blog to drinking while driving.
**And iced coffee, if I’m being perfectly honest. But the iced coffee happens in the morning – when it’s only 93 or so – and is a daily necessity. Without caffeine, I’m a horrid, horrid person. With a headache.
***If “blogosphere” is still a thing. I haven’t watched enough cable news lately to know if blogosphere is still a buzzword or not.
+ Actually, unless you’re drinking distilled water, this is a relative term. It’s chemical-free in comparison to my usual review topics.

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This post brought to you by this experience:

On Monday, after the fourth bank thermometer I drove by that had a temperature reading of over 100, I decided to give up on any ideas of getting home before rehydrating and bought myself some water at the convenience store. Then I refilled it twice while I was out. When I got home, I had the brilliant idea of shoving the half-full* bottle in the freezer, so that I’d have a giant ice cube in the morning. This would, in turn, keep my water cold throughout a good chunk of the next day.

Or so I thought.

The chunk of ice that started out the morning like this:

…was completely melted by the time I’d left my first stop (say, 30 minutes), and undrinkably hot by the time I was done with my third (say, 90 minutes total). This was while my poor car was running the a/c full blast. However, when the forecast from the Weather Channel is as gross as mine is, well, the a/c stands no chance at all. Neither does ice.

 

I screencapped this at 8:07pm, and it’s 96 out. 96. Even worse, check out the heat index for tomorrow. I could cry. Furthermore, when it’s this hot, the air shouldn’t even be capable of holding this much humidity. So for everyone who says that Arizona is great because it’s a dry heat, that’s great. Our heat isn’t dry.

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*This is how I typed it without thinking – maybe I’m secretly an optimist.

Then again, this entire post is fundamentally an excuse to bitch about the heat, so. There’s that.

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Microblogging

Hey y’all, I made a tumblr! Stop by if you want to see moment-by-moment* things that amuse me.

Reviews will continue here as per usual.

*of course, by “moment-by-moment,” I actually mean that I’ll be taking pics moment-by-moment when I’m amused and then posting them when I have five minutes and a laptop. The tumblr app kills my phone battery more than I’m usually willing to sacrifice in 5 minutes’ time.

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ATTN KANSANS: MAGIC HAT #9 IS NOW IN YOUR LIQUOR STORES. GO BUY SOME.
IT LOOKS LIKE THIS:

The other beers you can kind of see are Dieu du Ciel!’s* Rosée d’Hibiscus and Schlafly’s Helles Summer Lager. It was the Fourth of July – we were beering while waiting on our dinner to finish cooking itself.

Basic Info:
Name:
#9
Origin: Magic Hat Brewing Company, VT
Style: Pale Ale/Fruit Beer**
ABV: 5.10%
IBU: 20
I drank this: on tap all over the East Coast, from a bottle all over the East Coast *and* during a work meeting *and* at home, etc. For those who are interested, I’ll update where I’ve found it in Kansas as I trip over it.

Consider this something of a welcome post to Magic Hat: they just expanded their distribution into my home state. I’m quite thrilled about it. When I moved back to Kansas and realized we didn’t have it here, I was honestly surprised: #9 was one of those beers I saw so frequently while living in Pennsylvania that it became part of the background – it was always there, reliable, easy to drink. It’s flipping lovely to have it within easy drinking distance again.***

So, for those of you who’ve never had it before, #9 is an Apricot Pale Ale. It is not, however, an overly fruity, sticky sweet beer, nor is it a massively hoppy West Coast-style Pale Ale – it essentially splits the difference between an apricot beer and an English Pale Ale. If that description makes sense, that’s really all you need to know. Happy drinking.

For everyone else, #9 has a sweetly fruity, almost honeyed pale malt nose with a touch of citrusy top note. It’s a relatively light-bodied beer with great carbonation and a low enough alcohol level that it’s safe to drink a few of them without worries of headaches and hangovers the next day.

Flavor-wise, it has a light, apricot-y sweetness that blends with the malts (mostly caramelly, biscuity malt flavors) and a light dose of hops. The hops are citrus/grapefruit rather than pine or grass in flavor, cause a light bite on the tongue, and then blend into the overall flavor quite well. The aftertaste is short and subtle – for this reason, it’s a good food beer.

To sum up: if you’re looking for big malt flavor, huge hops and bitterness, tons of alcohol or any other Extreme Beer Experience, this is *not* the beer you want. If, however, you want a beer to enjoy for hours while flopped on a porch in the sunshine, this is exactly what you should be looking for. It’s pretty much compulsively drinkable.

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*That right there is some tortured punctuation, even if I think it’s technically correct. Sorry about that.
**The brewery refers to this as a “Not Quite Pale Ale.” Beer Advocate calls it a fruit/veggie beer. I’m more or less splitting the difference because, much as I love the brewery, I can’t quite get myself to quote someone else’s ad copy when it comes to beer styles.
***As a note to Founders, Bells, Russian River, Great Lakes, Southern Tier and Stone (among others): FOLLOW SUIT PLEASE. (I’d love Dogfish Head as well, but I have realistic expectations on that.)

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This beer makes me absolutely stupid happy. It causes me to do weird things like mug for the camera:

Isn’t that beer a beautiful, beautiful thing?

Basic Info:
Name:
American IPA
Origin: Schlafly Beer, St. Louis, MO
Style: Double/Imperial IPA (Not sure if this technically gets classed as an Imperial, but I’m going to go ahead and say yes, yes it is. At least in my world.)
ABV: 7.2%
IBU: 65
I drank this: on tap at Old Chicago, OPKS

 So. Thanks to getting to spend a Friday afternoon hanging out at Fort Leavenworth and pouring Schlafly beer with one of the reps, I learned bunches of stuff about this beer, namely that Schlafly has been playing with improving its dry-hopping methods. I then got samples of beer from 5/3 and 5/25, giving me a chance to enjoy spotting the differences. (And then I grabbed one on tap when I found it, figured out by taste that it was a 5/25, and damn near swooned, hence the stupid grin above).

To figure out what you’re drinking, look at the bottom-center bit on the label: Schlafly gives us a bottling date.* I don’t normally pay a lot of attention to bottling dates (unless it’s a beer style that I know has a short shelf life), but it’s helpful with this beer – the 5/3 version is (even using all the same ingredients) a different beer than the later date, though both versions are pretty fantastic.

The 5/3 batch has a light hop nose, mostly grapefruit and orange with a hint of honeyed malty sweetness. It’s a deceptively light scent.
The taste, it is not so light.
There’s a huge hop bite right in the front, loaded with citrus rind and pine resin flavors, backed up by honeyed biscuit flavors and the slightest touch of yeast. It’s medium-bodied with a lovely foamy mouthfeel. The aftertaste is really bitter – almost citrus pith – and really intense. It builds on itself, too – the more I drank, the more pine resin I noticed.

The 5/25 batch is brighter, with a touch more pine in the nose. The citrus comes through as well, bright and very clean.
This batch has a slightly more pronounced malt flavor, but that’s not to say in turn that the hops seem less predominant. It’s that the flavors seem to be integrated more thoroughly, so that the beer loses some of the pithy bitterness and replaces it with a brighter citrus-rind and -juice type of bittersweet.

Both versions are really, really good, but the 5/25 is GLORIOUS. The 5/25 is also (I gather, anyway) the direction they’re going with the beer, so that any date after that should be giving you the same (or even better) experience that I had drinking the 5/25.

Fun note: for an IBU level of 65, this is *not* a tame beer. I would have guessed the IBU level to hover closer to the 80 mark. It’s SUPER hoppy.

I gotta say I love Schlafly right now: they have a great product, but they’re not afraid to tweak it (even mid-season) to make it that much better. I heart them (and goofiness) so much right now that I’ll even pimp their website: this cheeseball blog is their discussion of the AIPA, explaining why it’s “the most patriotic beer in the galaxy.” 

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*Can I just point out how happy I am that it’s a bottling date and not a “born on” date? “Born on” dates are the stupidest marketing trick for beer I’ve seen in a long time**, because the “born on” date is meaningless. Is it the brewing date? The bottling date? The magical moment during the fermentation process when the alcohol level has become high enough to classify it as beer?

**We won’t go into whichever macroswill it is that advertises itself as “triple hops brewed.” Obviously it is. That’s how you brew most beer. *facepalm*

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